Dear Ma & Pa…


jennifer-pendergast4

Hey Ma, and Pa

Thanks for bringing me up understanding the pain of the belt and hand. I learnt  from that. And forcing me away from the only girl who understood me.  Hell you told me I sinned so often that I am sin.

Guess that’s why I got pa’s guns. Loaded. Don’t worry. I’ll only start shooting if you call, or if the principal or anyone comes running into the class, cause it’ll mean you read this goodbye note – or if the biology teacher says anything that reminds me of me. We’re dissecting rats today, so…

Anyway. See you in hell.

Jeremiah, your ex-son.

 

 

FF run by Rochelle Wisoff.Fields – thankyou – photo prompt by Jennifer Pendergast

Try a weekly Haibun writing challenge! Click here http://www.gunns-cabinfever.pw/l298go-ha298bun#.U4WnE3KSzaU

or here http://managuagunntoday.wordpress.com/2014/05/26/ligo-haibun-challenge-visual-prompt-week/

 

Categories: Flash Fiction | Tags: , , | 31 Comments

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31 thoughts on “Dear Ma & Pa…

  1. The pain of your narrator is plain to see in this. Well done.

  2. This guy is a bit more than the product of his environment. Very psychotic . Well done. Lucy

  3. Wouldn’t that be a scary note to find in your son’s room.

  4. This is sadly so topical and all the more frightening. Well written, well done

    Dee

  5. Too real for comfort this week.

  6. That boy’s got a country voice. He has my sympathy as do the loved ones of his victims. Great piece of writing. You put us right there.

  7. Nicely done. His resignation is palpable.

  8. A bit worrying. Pleased this one is fiction.

  9. Yes, this one is hard to like, given recent events – and all the disaffected, and destroyed souls in this world, but without guns would be better. A world without guns, without weapons, would be better.

  10. Dear Hamish, Watching all the news stories this week and your story is so good. Almost makes me sad for the kid (really it does make me sad for him). Bad parents plus no one to love him makes a killer-monster out of anyone. I wish there was a parenting class for future parents and/or psychological test for them. This is so scary! I hope parents start paying more attention to their children and the police don’t get fooled by a slick talking psycho with 400 rounds of ammunition in his room. Well written – too bad this happens. Nan :)

  11. That sends shivers – almost didn’t want to like it. I don’t like it. Very very well done.

  12. You have captured the voice of the disaffected with chilling precision. Well done.

  13. This was a very uncomfortable read. But I forced myself through it, if only to try to understand.

  14. Oops seem that our minds saw similar stories.. you managed better in capturing a little sympathy for the boy though… great form to use a letter…

  15. You’ve finely balanced the two sides of this piece, leaving us with an understanding of the boy and yet still fearing him. Nicely done.

  16. chilling!

  17. Very powerful. I felt hate, or at least the final straw seething from this kid. Well done.

  18. sad and disturbing and all too real. you’ve written it well and captured the kid’s voice very well. very sad that rats would remind him of himself.

  19. Oh, boy. that’s a great piece of writing. scary and it rings so true

  20. I don’t know what to say…. It stunned me.

  21. This is so eerily and shockingly topical. The voice is just right, spot on – sounding both immature and world-weary at the same time. Well done.

  22. It’s hard to know whether to sympathize with this maniac or want him gone. Thanks for a chilling tale.

  23. Chilling, and yet I still feel for Jeremiah. Well done.

  24. That kid doesn’t have just an issue or two, he’s got a whole subscription! In light of what we’ve been reporting on this week and last, it brings up a lot of stuff.

    You wrote well, Managua! Keep it going.

  25. Hamish, It’s frightening that somewhere someone is thinking thoughts like that. I was a teacher and we never feared about things teachers do today. I’m glad I’m retired and my children have graduated. Very good story. Frightening and well done.—Susan

  26. Dear Mr. Gunn,

    I used that name on purpose. I wonder if anyone else will think of it the way I did. Great story with about forty messages for millions of people. But there’s always one that slips through the cracks.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • Thanks! Yes, I once wrote a post saying how many bloggers were possibly serial killers. Looking at the evidence – how many serial killers are active, how many people blog, and behavioural patterns of the killers I came to the conclusion that some on wordpress quite possibly were – that slipping through cracks thing..

    • Gunn is my Scottish clan name though, and has Nordic origins… I do have Mackay relatives though none of Macilroy!

  27. I clicked on a like button. And 5 minutes later still don’t know what to say.

    Good job.

  28. MrBinks

    Too real. Make it stop please. Thanks.

    (Bloody well done.)

  29. Dear Hamish,

    In light of current events this one sent a chill that started at my toes and went through the roots of my hair.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

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