If Jesus Was a Woman (For Magpie Tales)

el greco feast-in-the-house-of-simon 1610 (1)

Feast in the House of Simon, 1610, El Greco

If Jesus was a woman
and not a lesbian
Would there still be feminism?
Would religion start to make sense to me?
And would she have worn a bra?

Could she possibly have had
better hair?
Along with line in fine lingerie
for those seeking salvation
in the arms of a woman

Would her twelve disciples have been women too?
Would they have cross-dressed
or simply just had more style?
And would she have hung from the cross?

And would Peterina
Upon arrival in Rome
have been hung upside down?

If the Buddha had been all-woman
would she have sat under tree so long?

If Stalin had been a little girl
from somewhere deep in the Urals
would the gulags have functioned so well?

Its only Mick Jagger
that would remain the same
if history could be changed
To be herstory
And of course me
Though then
I would be une Lesbienne
-as I secretly am

magpie tales statue stamp 185

Somewhere (for wedrinkbecausewerepoets.com)

there’s a place
in my past
that I passed by
with a smile
when I should have stopped
and taken that turning

perhaps then I would not
have dropped
swatted like a fly
and instead I would have hovered above
like an eagle dressed as dove
pretended to care
for the welfare
of those with too much love

I would have worn fur coats
paid politicians to sit in my pockets
employed slaves
for my factories
and from my big fat car
I would always gaze afar
and learn to ignore
those polluted streets

but as I look back on that place
somewhere in the past
at a crossroads in my life
I’m still glad I chose me
even if they stole my dream, in those years in-between

For I still feel the taste of victory
despite it all
they never destroyed my home
never droned
me, never bombed in shock and awe
and instead just took my health
bit by bit
those criminal corporatist rich
and their itch
for more of what I do not have

And I’m still



If I Were a Monk – Sunday Poem

if I was a monk
I’d live in a monastery
up past the trees

I’d wear a pious robe
and hold out a bowl
and have my dinner for free

I’d hold young womens’ hands
when they came for confession
and tell them about Rasputin

I’d live a life of piety
and lethargy
and try not to think about the nun next door…


Carpe Diem Haiku Kai – Given First Line

The goal of this feature is to write an all new haiku which starts with the given first line.

.This week’s haiku has to start with the following first line:

a shooting star


a shooting star
-don’t go



¤ ¤ ¤

Ode To Traffic Wardens

I used to hate
traffic wardens
when I was a slave to society
but now I see them
for who they are
our holy warriors
slaying dragon cars
appearing just on time
to lay down a beautiful fine
their little sword a pen
but oh don’t be mistaken
its a mighty weapon
and their shield the simple note pad
which such style they wield

Yes! Oh yes!

…oh thee of tight uniforms ankles bare
our proud holy warriors
marching in your ranks
to my eye you bring a tear
the dobermans of an Orwellian animal farm
and part of our war against terroni
on behalf of nations and corporations
yes hail the heroes who set us free!
they are veritably our kindred kind
how I’d love to put my arms around your neck
advance fair until a car be found
or hope for a delivery truck
to which an orgasmic ticket written
feels better than a …Original Sin

dVerse – Let It Rain

soft rain
takes me home

to watch drops
roll on a window pane

grey skies
waves caress sand
-a background refrain

I walk the forest
hesitate not
in my step
it leads me away
from where I came

the passion
of the Amazon has gone
the storm that lashed my skin
nectar of native fruit sinned

her arms tightening
under the lightning

I know
I’m not tamed

for the soft shores of a final destination
that to roam is my home

that my peace is found
in the eye of the monsoon

Ligo Haibun Challenge – Quote Prompt Week

Winter on one side, summer on the other, we drift into December. There were some beautiful haibun last week, making the choice of Honourable Mentions absurdly difficult again. Thank you again, wonderful contributors.

This week is quote week again. Please choose one as always continued…

Ode to the Troll

This piece has been commissioned by myself for dverse science fiction poetry, hosted tonight by the unequalled Bjorn Rudberg.

fool was I
did I think the troll would just
fly by?

I was warned
don’t trust them – or anyone
who wears their heart on their sleeves

and there it is, it’s heart
glowing maliciously in the dark
pumping sparks that will not ignite

I wonder what the troll thinks it is
perhaps the Marine of the internet
invading free speech

you come from a dark planet
full of insidious plants
but your words – I fear – have little effect

feed yourself on another
you’re a victim of your own success
or lack of it

This Week At The Ligo Haibun Challenge

Haiku is the  customary close to a haibun’s prose, and fits so well, but in our innovation week we are not obliged to limit ourselves to haiku. What we must not forget is that the haiku, either one or more, is a distillation of the prose, in a contrasting form, and seems to enhance the prose, while of course the prose itself raises the haiku up.

In saying that, there are other forms that might also work with prose to create a particular magic.

So this week, in innovation week make a choice between haiku or tanka, or pathya vat from Cambodia, orthanbauk from Burma, now Myanmar, to go with your prose. You may also choose another form, though I would hesitate to go much further in volume than a tanka, which does make me slightly uneasy, as the balance just may be ‘wrong.’ 

Pathya vat is a four-line poem, with 4 syllables each line – and line 2 and 3 must rhyme. Here’s one I tried.

my forest walk
is long enough
to stop my rust


Yes, I know, not very deep – but there isn’t prose behind it, and to be honest a couple of paragraphs describing my feelings among the trees might go nicely with this.

Thanbauk is poetry of three lines with four syllables on each line. The rhyme pattern of thanbauk can be seen below, with 4th, 3rd and 2nd syllables rhyming in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd lines. Here’s my first attempt, without any prose to give it more depth as a haibun.


a coffee poured
eyes adored, hers 
her, bored, so tired

As you have noticed I haven’t mentioned syllable requirements for the tanka. Let’s generally label the requirements frameworks. In tanka they are  (notionally for Ligo Haibun) 5-7-5-7-7 syllables. 

Should you prefer to use the haiku as is customary, there are 3 forms that are variants. One is the 5-7-5 syllable English language format, which stresses form over meaning. another one that is popular is the haiku over 3 lines with no more than 17 syllables in total, but no line requirement, and the third is freestyle with no syllable count over 3 lines.

This week is quote prompt week. You do not need to include the quote in the haibun, and normally it is not included but used as inspiration for your haibun. As always, choose one.

It is not enough to know how to ride – you must also know how to fall.–Mexican Proverb
It is solved by walking. –Algerian Proverb


Prayer Time


There should be no doors to a church
No nails to a cross on which a victim is hung
In order for us to chant a hymn
No priest in sacrilegious sacraments
No virgins to satisfy the inability of some

There should be no lord no saviour
Except a deep understanding of nature
No commandments
No flock to follow
Deaf, blind and dumb

No teacups or mugs
With the picture of the pope
No creedence to the belief in any holy goat
No masses to join to whitewash any guilt

Stop believing someone from a fantasy they call history
Has a role for you
Spend a little time in the freedom of natural rhythms
Do not be tamed into becoming sheep

Do not be shamed, into becoming sheep

Dear Feminists

Dear feminists

you bore me

with your lines about evil men

In the last 24 hrs

I read we men, yes, all “men”

have fantasies of sacrificing virgins

of raping

of wanting to dominate

of wanting to block Wonder Woman

that if you give us enough rope

we’ll tie your hands

that we don’t agree that

women should be allowed on the front line

to be butchered along with us

that the boss of Yahoo is a bitch

cause she makes people go to work

that a series about vampires

written by a woman

is abusive to women

that all women are victims

that male on male rape is not as serious

as females being raped

and of course

the greatest crime of all

that we are non-emotional


dear cub scouts

so quick to give those posts a like

in eagerness to please

so used are you to ducking

the flying dishes

those same men who in my office

(my colleagues from USA to be precise)

would never have a meeting with woman colleague without witness

in case of being hit with sexual harassment

dear friends

we need to love women for who they are

not for the fantasies of inequality of some

and try to have less haste

to denigrate women from other cultures

just because they have taste

or other such crime

so assume they have brains too

and know what they are doing

dear feministas

with your rules


you can always find something

to cry “wolf!” about

but crowing about equality

while spouting imperialism

has become that tiny little bit



Ligo Haibun Challenge – The Learner

The prompt: “Come forth into the light of things, let nature be your teacher” – William Wordsworth.


I am a pirate, from the deepest of my soul to the heart I want to bare, so that it tastes the sea air while my hands grip the wheel and the ship rises and crashes, so my mind splashes with glorious memories of battles won or unwon, and lace unwoven, so that I may kiss the hand of the latest maiden; I ask no more, but no less, and when freedom comes and sits upon my soaking shoulder I know I managed to escape, through the skin of my teeth, another incident unbecoming of me…

And that is why, should I be tasked to come forth into the light of things, and let nature be my teacher,I will always add that the teacher will be challenged; for only by challenging nature, and winning only sometimes, do we blossom. Only by standing at the top of a mountain in howling blizzard, held fast by ice pick planted, though in reality merely scratched into the icy surface, do we learn to love the elements with passion. And it is there, on top of a mountain, in conditions like those just mentioned, that Basho’s words; “learn the rules and then forget them!” suddenly ring true, and are equally suddenly understood…no, Basho, the grandmaster of haiku was not talking about haiku, he was talking about nature.

And if you make it back down, face the avalanches like a man, or with the guile and temperance of the woman, and reach the solid ground at base camp, only then will you let nature guide you, and learn that to be guided really means to challenge, right to to the edge.

So come cross the Saharas with me. Come, and taste freedom in the desert sands, glorious, glorious freedom, for nowhere does one learn about oneself more than in a desert, with the knowledge that there are days and days ahead with only more of the wonderful sands, dunes, oasis and rocks to cross and bear witness to.

I love the men, and women of the desert, love their disdain of 2nd hand information on the radio, much preferring the company of a fire, traveler, coffee and setting sun as company.

Let me kiss or shake your hand there. as I serve you, welcome you, tease you to join me in my desire to traverse the sands, to reach the tops of mountains where snow gleams permanently.

Then, companion, sing, dance, woop with joy, feel the spray on your face, because we will have taken to the seas to discover more, and more, volcanoes, lava flowing,and Siberian winters among reindeer with people who challenge nature each day, but know secrets about berries and herbs that we can only dream about.

You only live if you learn to challenge the elements…

in one dew drop on cactus
an ocean of pleasure
-an exquisite taste